Trump Translation Guide

Trump Translation Guide:  Promises vs Reality

After running the most fact-free campaign ever, President-elect Trump is already backpedaling on many of his promises and he’ll find it impossible to make good on others. As such, I’ll try to maintain this “Trump Translation Guide”, distilling his middle school social studies education, Forrest Gump-like command of the language, and reckless overpromising into what he means, or what might actually happen.

There’s a pattern here and it’s more than ‘everything he says is BS’. While true, on a policy level there is increasingly less daylight between him, Hillary, and Obama.

Congratulations Trump voters! For little difference in policy, you elected the least prepared, most obnoxious candidate ever.

This isn’t a fact check, so much as a reality check.  It should be fun.

 

Build a wall, get Mexico to pay for it:

  • Maybe a fence in some places.
  • Mostly an investment in border security.
  • Mexico is NOT going to pay for it, unless indirectly via US consumers.

Deport 14M illegals:

Repeal and replace Obamacare:

  • Not taking insurance away from 20M people.
  • Keeping protections for pre-existing conditions and kids under 26.
  • No word on the individual mandate.
  • It will get the fixes it needs. This is inevitable and not a partisan issue.

Drain the swamp:

  • Load up on insiders and immediately hire supporters, irrespective of personal qualities.

Mitt Romney is such a loser:

  • Have you met my Secretary of State?

 

I know more than the generals:

  • About my insane hair.

 

Mosul is such a disaster:

  • I don’t have a plan, but criticizing everything seems to get me on TV.

 

I’ll keep (I kept) that business in the US:

  • Not according to Carrier.
  • Ford was never leaving Kentucky for Mexico.

 

“Lock her up!”:

  • Nah, just kidding.

 

Global warming, the Chinese hoax:

  • Maybe, just maybe, even I am not that dumb.

 

There’s plenty more and there’s no end in sight. The upside is that his caving on these issues brings him closer to a normal, centered reality that’s better for all of us.

Totally worth hiring an incompetent asshole to do most of the same things as an accomplished policy wonk with some flaws, a frosty personality, and a love of pantsuits.

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